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While attending a B.B. King concert at the Mountain Winery recently, my husband Mike asked me, "So, what IS on the monitors?"

"Nothing," I replied. "We can't really put anything on it. Although, sometimes I put my set list on it."

Mike seemed genuinely amazed by my answer. A few weeks earlier, he had written a post for me when I was busy with our wedding, wondering when he would finally figure out what monitors were and why we always wanted more. I decided he really didn't know and wasn't just being cute, so I launched into a thorough rudimentary explanation.

"See all those there?" I asked, pointing towards the stage. "Those are the speakers, and they are way out in front. We musicians stay behind them, because they might cause feedback if we stand in front of them. We have our own speakers called 'monitors' on stage so we can hear ourselves. Hence the name 'monitors'... because we are 'monitoring' our stage sound (which we call the 'stage mix'). And the loudness is called 'levels'."

"Yes, yes, but does the piano monitor just have piano?"

"Well, my pianist usually likes piano and some vocals on her monitor..."

"So how does she tell the difference between the levels?"

"She can just hear it or not hear it. And the sound person adjusts the level to her needs."

Mike sighs. "Well, then what IS on the monitors? Bars?"

"Bars? No, they are just black and kind of bumpy."

"But if there is nothing on your monitor..."

My eyes suddenly opened wider than the mugging trumpeter in B.B.'s band. My mouth dropped wide open and I screamed with laughter.

"You... hahaha... thought ahahha... they were monitors... gasp... like computer monitors... ahahahahha. I thought you meant metal bars... like a jail cell!"

"Of course," Mike answered calmly. "Isn't that what a monitor is? What is displayed on the screen? Does the whole band see the same thing? How do you know when it is right?"

I laughed so hard and so long that they people in front of me shot me evil glances, which made me stifle my laugh. Of course, my stifled laughter sounded funny and made me laugh more!

I can't beleieve how little the lay populace knows about the intricacies of performing live, and how they might need an occasional explanation. I should never take it for granted that people know what I am talking about. But then again, Mike is in the computer industry, so his thinking that monitors had monitors is perfectly understandable.

I wonder if he will clean my track ball or untangle my cord if I say that I have a mouse problem?